While no one wants to think about making major changes to one of the biggest events in your life, sometimes life happens and unforeseen circumstances lead to the decision to cancel or postpone your wedding. You may be facing such changes due to a global pandemic, natural disaster, illness, or bereavement. In any case, these changes will affect a lot of people: your wedding party, guests, and vendors, to name a few. It can be difficult to navigate the responsibilities involved in canceling or postponing a wedding. That’s why the wedding professionals at Marco Island Weddings have created a checklist for you to follow, ensuring that you don’t forget anyone and can hopefully salvage at least some of the expenses already incurred.
Will You Cancel or Postpone?
This is the first of many decisions you’ll make as you look ahead. Deciding to cancel altogether, whether due to a change of heart or other extenuating circumstances, is more likely to result in the loss of deposits and the inability to return dresses and decorations. On the other hand, if you choose to postpone, your vendors may be willing to hold your deposit for your future date. In the face of a world-wide pandemic, some couples are choosing to act much like their predecessors in wartime- holding a very small ceremony to make the marriage official, then planning a reception or larger celebration for the future. In some cases when catering or flowers have already been prepared or paid for, couples are choosing to donate to local charities, hospitals or other organizations that can benefit. Be prepared for florists to re-allocate your flower order (for example, replacing so many centerpieces with more altar flowers for your small ceremony).
Notifying Vendors
- Check your agreements. Once you’ve decided to postpone or cancel your wedding, start the process of “undoing” your wedding by checking all policies. If you have wedding insurance, this is the best place to start. What’s covered, what’s not? The same applies to travel insurance for destination weddings and honeymoons, then move on to the individual contracts you have with each vendor. On the whole, don’t expect to receive a refund. Period.
- Be honest and upfront. Vendors will appreciate your honesty and will work with you to apply their policies to your situation. If you’ll be postponing to a later date, discuss this possibility with them- you should be able to apply your deposit to your new date, especially if you’ve notified each vendor in enough time. Be prepared for florists to re-allocate your flower order (for example, replacing so many centerpieces with more altar flowers for your small ceremony).
- Timing matters. Consider each vendor’s business from their perspective. They’ve ordered ingredients or materials, blocked out this time and turned down other business for you and your big day. The sooner you can let them know of any changes, the more chance they’ll have to stop orders, replace your business and fill that time slot. Your circumstances matter, as well. Many vendors have an “Act of God” clause in their contracts that free you from responsibility when circumstances are out of your control. However, if your cancellation is due to a change of heart, you’ll probably be responsible for all lost business.
- Be flexible. If you’ll be postponing to a later date, consider the changes that may need to occur. The same flowers won’t be in season in November that you were planning for your May wedding. A different style of bridesmaids dresses or color palette for your entire decor could change. It may be wise to choose a less popular day of the week for your venue (think Thursday evening instead of Saturday afternoon). Talk to your florist, decorator, and boutique about making cost-effective changes and start thinking outside the box.
Notifying Guests
- Start with those traveling. For anyone who may have booked a flight, a rental car, or a hotel, it’s important to prioritize them as soon as you know your plans have changed so they can begin rearranging their own plans. Some airlines offer credit on future flights, and hotels can sometimes offer refunds or future credit. If you booked a block of rooms, talk to the hotel right away to save your guests one more thing they’ll have to do.
- Be polite but be efficient. True etiquette in this situation calls for a formal announcement that the wedding has been canceled or postponed. However, if time does not permit the printing and sending of formal announcements, a well-worded email or text to all guests will suffice. Keep it brief and to-the-point: “Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so regret to announce that the wedding of their daughter, _ to _ will not take place.” There will be time to pour over the details later with those closest to you, but for now, work on informing everyone as quickly and politely as possible.
- Know when to return gifts. If your plans are being postponed, it’s okay to keep wedding gifts you’ve already been given. If you’re changing your plans to include a super-small ceremony and no guests, it’s polite to offer to return gifts (say, from your bridal shower a few months ago). Often guests will insist that you keep the gift anyway, in which case, simply accept and write a lovely thank you card. However, if you’ll be completely canceling the wedding, be sure to return gifts (even those that have been personalized).
- Don’t feel the need to explain. It’s often tempting to want to make your reasons clear, but trust that these will come out over time. You’ll inevitably confide in your closest people, and they will help you explain to extended family, friends and co-workers. At this time, however, you’re full of emotions and have a lot on your plate. You do not owe anyone an explanation or a long discussion.
A final word of advice if you find yourself canceling or even postponing your wedding, no matter the reason: ask for help. Find your maid of honor or other bridesmaids, a sister, mother, or close friend who are glad to step up and help. This is a hugely emotional decision and should not be handled alone. Make a list to prioritize the tasks to be done and print it off for a friend to handle. Be flexible with changes that have to occur and do everything you can to keep yourself calm during such difficult circumstances.
Or,…. Don’t Cancel – Stream it!
If the love is still there and it’s events out of your control which is causing you to postpone or cancel your wedding, then know there are other options available. With virtual streaming platforms such as Facebook Live, you can still have a wedding and have your guests share in the experience of it, too. Just have a dedicated computer or phone-person to stream the event. Whether it’s in a courthouse or your backyard, get everybody in attendance to dress their part, decorate with gorgeous flowers and table settings, grab your beautiful bouquet, and walk down an aisle of rose petals. Make sure the ceremony is recorded as well for you to keep and treasure, and when everybody can finally get together, then you can celebrate your nuptials with a big bash.
For help in creating the picture-perfect virtual wedding with stunning, fresh flowers (a must at all kinds of ceremonies!), contact Marco Island Weddings to help you make the day you get married extra special.